Hello Again

It's been a while since I've posted last. School and such.

I have a new boyfriend now, and he's sweet, interesting, smart, creative and absolutely lovely. He also has the most calming, comforting heartbeat I've ever heard.
It's been really cool, because he seems to have a bit of a heart interest as well, and it's been really nice getting to cuddle up together and share our hearts (and body heat because it's been absolutely freezing!)
Oops, now this blog might be going back to going on and on about my boyfriend and how wonderful he is.
Oh well, my tumblr's still mostly heart related

Random personal facts (and over analysis)

A few days ago, I learned that I was born a few weeks before my due date.
There weren't any major complications, but learning that made me wonder if it has anything to do with this heart thing. If maybe I missed a few weeks of heartbeats and comfort and got stuck in this cold, loud, scary world earlier than I was supposed to. And maybe this interest and love and fascination for heartbeats is making up for the time I lost...

I don't know. I'm probably over thinking it, still, I'd wonder if that could be a possible cause for anyone...

Oops I have a heart tumblr

So yeah, I got really really bored.
So here is is if anyone's interested: http://rhythmedelavie.tumblr.com/

Another Update

So not much going on.
School starts pretty soon, which is both scary and exciting. this summer's been nice, but I'm glad to get to go back and see people more often.
Otherwise, I'm still updating the list of cardiophile tumblrs when I get the chance. :)

Listener or Listenee?

Well, I posted this question on HBP, but I figured I might answer it here, because I actually feel like talking about it.

As far as the heart-sharing goes, I usually prefer to have someone listen to my heart than to listen to someone else's. I absolutely adore listening, but it just feels so different to share with someone you're close to. To feel their head on your chest and to see the way your heartbeat affects them. It feels like giving a gift of sorts, like you're letting them hear a secret meant for them alone.

Updating and 2 more tumblrs

Hey,
So still absolutely freaking nothing is going on heart-wise and absolutely freaking everything is happening otherwise. My BF and I broke up about a month ago, so that's sucked for a multitude of reasons. Due to that, though, no more heart-sharing for a while. :( Hopefully I'll get the motivation to write more, currently my mental health hasn't been exactly wonderful, so that's interfered a bit.

Anyways, I hope everyone's doing well!
It seems like there's been a little bit of turmoil and arguing on HBP, but hopefully everyone can settle their differences. :)

The two other heart tumblrs (may be NSFW!):
*****Edit****
I moved these to the post "Heart Tumblrs I <3 "
I will be adding new tumblrs to this list as I find them.

What's new...

Well, there's a lot going on now:
-I've been busy with school, like really really busy, and it's been stressful, like really really stressful.
-My depression's gotten really bad in the past few months, but I've been getting help and things are slowly going back to normal.
-My boyfriend and I broke up, partially due to his inability to handle some of the things that have come along with my depression. I've been having a really hard time dealing with it, we were together for a long time and it's hard to let go, especially because it was over something that's getting better.
-My heart interest is pretty much non-existant due to the break up and things in my life.

I don't know how much time I'll have to blog until June. Just figured I should let people know what's happening if anyone actually cares...

Heart Tumblrs I ❤

So as you may know if you know me well or read my other blog, I pretty much spend all of my time on Tumblr. Tumblr's great, it has everything, from people who are supportive and kind to adorable pictures of turtles and kittens and even porn (if you're looking for that sort of thing).
It also has hearts, I've seen several heart related tumblrs, and I even follow some (even though my tumblr isn't heart-related). So here's my list so far:

WARNING: Some of these may contain NSFW Content!!
(If you are the owner of one of these sites, and would like to request me to take it down, just message me)

 http://justhearts.tumblr.com
 http://stethstory.tumblr.com
 http://cardiophilings.tumblr.com
 http://romanticheartbeat.tumblr.com
 http://cardiophile.tumblr.com
 http://cardiophile-problems.tumblr.com
 http://heartrecordapp.tumblr.com
 http://stethme.tumblr.com
 http://just-a-little-sweetheart.tumblr.com
 http://katies-heart.tumblr.com
http://medical22.tumblr.com/ (general med fet stuff, tending more on the BDSM side)

http://fuckyeahcardiology.tumblr.com/ (cool scientific stuff)

http://cuddleking01.tumblr.com/

http://frostedheartbeatbabe.tumblr.com/
http://heartoflea.tumblr.com

http://burntheheartbeatoutofyou.tumblr.com/ (RP-er)

http://thexbeatxofxherxheart.tumblr.com/

http://xheartbeatxbabex.tumblr.com/
http://stethoscopius.tumblr.com/
http://stethingdave.tumblr.com/
http://rhythmedelavie.tumblr.com/(My Tumblr)
   

Just checking in

So pretty much nothing exciting has happened recently. I've been really depressed these last few weeks, and the only thing that's really helped me has been spending time with my friends or my boyfriend, which I haven't gotten to do much of. My boyfriend and I are still doing fine, we went and saw Warm Bodies for Valentine's day and he totally noticed a heart reference before I did which was funny. He has still been really sweet about letting me listen to his heart and so that's been helping me a lot.

Otherwise not much is happening, I'll probably post about something interesting sometime soon.

Tarzan

I suppose that the majority of people probably don't watch American kid movies, but this is one scene I absolutely adored. The heart-related part is at 1:45-ish. (Except her head was on the wrong side)

(Note: this clip is actually in polish, but she says "it's a very nice heartbeat")

I watched this movie recently and it reminded me of what I think is a very primal part of this interest. Before we are born, we hear our mother's heartbeat, it's a sound that makes us feel safe and cared for, as we get older, it becomes a sound that makes us feel connected to others, it reminds us that we are all human and alive. That might sound very strange, but it's really quite comforting to hear the sound that means that someone you love is alive and well.

This scene also reminded me of myself, because I have had several moments when I have felt like doing this exact same thing. Sometimes, when I'm with my boyfriend (which he's used to) and sometimes just around random people. I think for me, it's a way to cope with the numbness that I feel when my depression decides to make my life suck. Sometimes I just feel like I want or need to listen to someone's heartbeat, to kind of bring me back to this world or to tie me down here. I love that it's something like that though, I think that that's one of the things that's going to help me stop self-harming for good.

 Now all I need is a way to listen to my boyfriend's heart in public. Any Ideas? :)

A story: How's my Heart

Well, I wrote this based on an experience I had. It's posted on the website, but I figures that I might as well post it here too, for any non-HBP members (PS. Registration is open again, if you're interested in joining).

How's My Heart

We walk up the stairs and turn left into my room, he closes the door softly behind us and locks it with a soft click. I sit on the bed as he approaches, but instead of sitting beside me, he remains standing. I look up at him, in question and he smiles warmly, bending down slightly to place a soft kiss on my lips. He moves closer then, and placing a hand on my cheek, guides my head so that my ear lands in the perfect place on his chest. I sigh contentedly, closing my eyes as I listen to his heart. The slow beats relax me, and I feel a wave of peace sweep over me as I listen. 

Several minutes pass, and I move my head to gaze up at him, wordlessly appreciating the act. He takes another step closer to me and I hear a soft thudding noise. He looks slightly perplexed and says, "It looks like there's something under your bed,". He bends and slides something out from under the bed then picks it up, setting it in front of me. I feel a blush rising in my cheeks as I realize what he found.

It was an old cardboard box, unadorned, the type that once had held shoes or maybe the pair of headphones I bought online a year ago. Nothing really unique about it. However, time had passed, and it had become the home for my secrets.

His hand hovers over the lid and he looks at me with curiosity in his eyes, "Can I?" He asks.

My heart begins to pound, and my mind races, "What if he judges me? What if he decides that he can't handle this?" I think. I finally say a soft "yeah" and turn away, ashamed to see his reaction.

I hear the lid slide off and some rustling as he looks through the contents. After about a minute, he says, "What's this?" and I hear him slide something out of the box. I turn to him, afraid of what he might have found. 

He has a small smile on his face and when I look down, my purple stethoscope is in his hands. I sigh in relief and smile back at him. "Can I try it out?" He asks me.

I shrug my shoulders, but nod, and he eagerly slips the ear pieces in and places the disk on my chest. I jump a little at the sudden coolness, and study his face. He moves it around a bit, before finally settling slightly to the right of my breast. He grins, "It's a little bit fast, can you take a few deep breaths, and try to relax a bit." 

"Yes, doctor," I joke, but I comply.

The smile on his face is quickly replaced by a look of awe, "Wow, I can even hear your breathing," he says, seeming fascinated by it. Another minute passes, and finally he takes the stethoscope off. I open my mouth to explain everything else, when, to my surprise, he hands it to me, "Do you want a turn?" He asks me.

I take it from him and place the disk on his chest, relaxing again as I hear his heart beating strongly, although slightly quicker than before. I move it, to listen at another spot, marveling at how the sound changes. I place the disc again and listen some more, before finally setting aside the stethoscope. He pushes it aside, "How's my heart?" He asks me, seriously. 

"It sounds really good, a little bit quick, but very strong," I reply.

"Good," he says, placing it back in the box and putting the lid on again. He quickly slides it back under my bed and then lays down on his back, motioning for me to lay with him. "I love you," he says softly as I place my head gently on his chest, right over his heart. "I love you too," I tell him, pulling a blanket over us, and closing my eyes. I feel myself being lulled to sleep by the slow rhythm of his heartbeat, and allow myself to sink into sleep.

My favorite "heart" videos of the moment

Well, it's 2013 now... Pretty much the same old stuff happening, I got to have a nice long ear-stething session with my boyfriend yesterday, and that was wonderful.

Anyways, I've had a bit of trouble sleeping (again)  and so I figured I'd post some of my favorite heartbeat videos, because those have really helped me.

So, here it goes, (in no particular order):

1. The volume's really quiet, but I adore this!

2. I think this is a HBP member. Anyways, it's very relaxing, this user has many good videos

 

3.

4.

Also, I've found a cool little product for this. A bunch of different companies make speakers that are designed to go under your pillow to listen to music at night, I got one and I adore it! I very highly recommend them!