So, as you probably know, I love love LOVE to write.
I have posted several stories on the HBP Forums, if you are interested in reading them.
Recently I've been having a bad case of writers block.
This is where you, the reader of this blog, get to help me.
If you have any fantasies, or other things you would like me to write about, please send them to me at lilyofthevalley2020@gmail.com .
Thank you
Wednesday, May 30, 2012
Friday, May 25, 2012
My First HB Experience (and what happened next)
The first heart-related experience I can remember was on a summer afternoon when I was about 8 years old.
I was bored and so I started looking through the drawers in the bathroom, searching for confiscated toys.
After a while, I found a little black bag in a drawer. I was curious so I opened it. Inside the bag, to my delight was a stethoscope and a blood pressure cuff. I quickly went and closed and locked the door, because I was scared that my father would see me, and took the stethoscope out of the bag.
I lifted my shirt and placed the stethoscope on my chest. I moved it a bit and suddenly I was overcome with the weirdest feeling. I was hearing the sound of my heart beating, and for some reason I didn't really understand, I loved it.
I sat there for a while enjoying the sound and then an interesting thought occurred to me. I took the stethoscope off and stood up and started running in place as quickly and quietly as I could. I put my hand over my heart and felt it beating quickly so I stopped and put the stethoscope on. When I placed the diaphragm to my chest, I was amazed, my heart was pounding loudly and was much faster than it has been.
Suddenly, I was startled by a knock on the door. My heart began to beat faster. "Lily?" My mother said, "What was all of that banging? Are you ok?"
I shoved the stethoscope into it's bag, put it into the drawer and closed it as quietly as I could. "Yes mom, I'm fine," I said.
"Could you please open the door?" My mom asked.
I unlocked the door and opened it.
"What were you doing?" She asked
"Nothing," I told her, and then walked past her out of the bathroom
After that day, when I was alone and bored, I would sneak into the bathroom and listen to my heart. I experimented with exercising and holding my breath and enjoyed hearing the effects these things had on my heart.
A few years passed, my interest stayed pretty constant but when I finally turned 13 and got a computer of my own, things got interesting. I would go online after everyone had gone to bed and use google to read about stethoscopes and the heart. After a while, I started to get a bit concerned. My little interest was beginning to make me feel weird in public. I would see some kids running and wonder about their hearts and I would be so curious about what my heart was doing at different times. Somehow, I heard the word fetish and learned it's meaning, so one night, I googled "heartbeat fetish".
Not a ton of stuff came up, but I found a website called heartbeat pleasure. It interested me, and so I created an account.
Well, after spending a few late nights online, I started to feel weird, almost dirty. I didn't like the idea of having this interest, and so for about a year, I suppressed my thoughts.
After some time has passed, my interest came back. This time, I had a debt card and so with my holiday online shopping, I bought a stethoscope.
Since then, I've gotten a lot more comfortable with my interest. I still hide it, but I've accepted it as a part of who I am, It isn't a bad thing, just different.
I was bored and so I started looking through the drawers in the bathroom, searching for confiscated toys.
After a while, I found a little black bag in a drawer. I was curious so I opened it. Inside the bag, to my delight was a stethoscope and a blood pressure cuff. I quickly went and closed and locked the door, because I was scared that my father would see me, and took the stethoscope out of the bag.
I lifted my shirt and placed the stethoscope on my chest. I moved it a bit and suddenly I was overcome with the weirdest feeling. I was hearing the sound of my heart beating, and for some reason I didn't really understand, I loved it.
I sat there for a while enjoying the sound and then an interesting thought occurred to me. I took the stethoscope off and stood up and started running in place as quickly and quietly as I could. I put my hand over my heart and felt it beating quickly so I stopped and put the stethoscope on. When I placed the diaphragm to my chest, I was amazed, my heart was pounding loudly and was much faster than it has been.
Suddenly, I was startled by a knock on the door. My heart began to beat faster. "Lily?" My mother said, "What was all of that banging? Are you ok?"
I shoved the stethoscope into it's bag, put it into the drawer and closed it as quietly as I could. "Yes mom, I'm fine," I said.
"Could you please open the door?" My mom asked.
I unlocked the door and opened it.
"What were you doing?" She asked
"Nothing," I told her, and then walked past her out of the bathroom
After that day, when I was alone and bored, I would sneak into the bathroom and listen to my heart. I experimented with exercising and holding my breath and enjoyed hearing the effects these things had on my heart.
A few years passed, my interest stayed pretty constant but when I finally turned 13 and got a computer of my own, things got interesting. I would go online after everyone had gone to bed and use google to read about stethoscopes and the heart. After a while, I started to get a bit concerned. My little interest was beginning to make me feel weird in public. I would see some kids running and wonder about their hearts and I would be so curious about what my heart was doing at different times. Somehow, I heard the word fetish and learned it's meaning, so one night, I googled "heartbeat fetish".
Not a ton of stuff came up, but I found a website called heartbeat pleasure. It interested me, and so I created an account.
Well, after spending a few late nights online, I started to feel weird, almost dirty. I didn't like the idea of having this interest, and so for about a year, I suppressed my thoughts.
After some time has passed, my interest came back. This time, I had a debt card and so with my holiday online shopping, I bought a stethoscope.
Since then, I've gotten a lot more comfortable with my interest. I still hide it, but I've accepted it as a part of who I am, It isn't a bad thing, just different.
Wednesday, May 23, 2012
To Share or Not to Share, That is the Question
So recently I've been having a weird internal conflict.
On HBP, as many of you probably know, it is possible to go into a webchat and let other people listen to your heartbeat. I think I have the means to be able to build a steth-mic, but when I think about it, i feel kind of weird too.
Since I was little, my heart has been incredibly private. I can count 2 people who I am aware of that have heard the sound of my heart. I want my boyfriend to be person number 3.
For some reason I don't really understand, I feel like I would be being unfaithful to my boyfriend if I shared online, although I also feel like it might not be a big deal to him.
I think for now, I'm going to stay out of the chats. Honestly I'm not hugely into listening to other people's hearts either. It just doesn't feel quite right when it's someone I don't know.
And there was my uncertain little blurb for the day,
I'm hoping that soon I can figure out what my beliefs are and I'll let you know when I do.
On another note, I thought that this was quite adorable :)
On HBP, as many of you probably know, it is possible to go into a webchat and let other people listen to your heartbeat. I think I have the means to be able to build a steth-mic, but when I think about it, i feel kind of weird too.
Since I was little, my heart has been incredibly private. I can count 2 people who I am aware of that have heard the sound of my heart. I want my boyfriend to be person number 3.
For some reason I don't really understand, I feel like I would be being unfaithful to my boyfriend if I shared online, although I also feel like it might not be a big deal to him.
I think for now, I'm going to stay out of the chats. Honestly I'm not hugely into listening to other people's hearts either. It just doesn't feel quite right when it's someone I don't know.
And there was my uncertain little blurb for the day,
I'm hoping that soon I can figure out what my beliefs are and I'll let you know when I do.
On another note, I thought that this was quite adorable :)
My Biggest Comfort and My Biggest Fear
I really think that this is one of the sweetest, most adorable things in the world. (photo credit to http://stethme.tumblr.com/ ) There is nothing that I would love more than to be able to openly listen to my boyfriend's heart, and I love the way it was stated on the above mentioned website: "You know for a fact just by the way she’s looking at him that she fully intends on taking care of his heart in multiple ways forever.". That is what I would love, to be able to take care of my bf and his heart forever.
The thing I find most comforting is the feeling of my boyfriend's heart beating as he holds me close to him. I feel so secure and loved when he does that.
The thing that scares me the most is when he doesn't take care of himself. I felt myself starting to get emotional when he joked about ordering a double bacon cheeseburger. I know that this probably sounds ridiculous, but it upset me a lot, to think of the damage he could be doing to his heart. I really love him and I feel like we will spend the rest of our lives together, and that's part of the reason it upset me. I want him and his heart to be with me forever, I just wish I had the words to say it.
Well, that's about enough worried rambling for now, For those of you who want and are able to reply: What comforts you the most? What are you most afraid of?
Lily
An Introduction to Me
Hello!
As you most likely know, My name is Lily, This is my blog (Duh).
I am going to use this blog for lots of different stuff. If you are a friend of mine from HBP, I will likely be posting stuff about that, but if you just found this while surfing the web, you're welcome to read and comment as well. :)
Now, to start off.... How about some stuff about me:
1. My favorite genres of music: I enjoy electronic, dance, trance, dubstep, pop, and a lot of other stuff. I just love music in general!
2. My relationship status: In a very happy relationship.
3. My favorite pastimes: Writing, Sleeping, Spending time with friends and my boyfriend, Reading, Running
4. Languages I speak: English, some french, and ASL(American Sign Language)
5. If I were trapped on a deserted island, what would I bring?: My boyfriend, some food and water, my laptop, and a boat :)
Now, for those of you who are from HBP, you might be a bit curious about that aspect of my life.
6. How many Steths do I own?: 2, although one of them (my 6 dollar Life Source) is preferred right now.
7. Do I prefer to listen or be listened to?: Honestly, it depends. Sometimes I feel weird about being listened to (like at the doctor) but sometimes I also feel weird listening to someone.
8. How many people in real life know about your interest?: 4, Me, Myself, I, and also my Boyfriend :)
9. What do I most like to do, related to heartbeats?:I love to write as well as read. Most of my stories are situations that I find romantic, they usually are between the characters "I" and "Him". I want to move away from this a bit and maybe start writing a bit more like my current literary idol, emtstaroflife on HBP.
10. What is my heart rate right now?: 64bpm
So there was a little introduction to who I am, I'll probably be updating my blog pretty often, so check back often!
Lily
As you most likely know, My name is Lily, This is my blog (Duh).
I am going to use this blog for lots of different stuff. If you are a friend of mine from HBP, I will likely be posting stuff about that, but if you just found this while surfing the web, you're welcome to read and comment as well. :)
Now, to start off.... How about some stuff about me:
1. My favorite genres of music: I enjoy electronic, dance, trance, dubstep, pop, and a lot of other stuff. I just love music in general!
2. My relationship status: In a very happy relationship.
3. My favorite pastimes: Writing, Sleeping, Spending time with friends and my boyfriend, Reading, Running
4. Languages I speak: English, some french, and ASL(American Sign Language)
5. If I were trapped on a deserted island, what would I bring?: My boyfriend, some food and water, my laptop, and a boat :)
Now, for those of you who are from HBP, you might be a bit curious about that aspect of my life.
6. How many Steths do I own?: 2, although one of them (my 6 dollar Life Source) is preferred right now.
7. Do I prefer to listen or be listened to?: Honestly, it depends. Sometimes I feel weird about being listened to (like at the doctor) but sometimes I also feel weird listening to someone.
8. How many people in real life know about your interest?: 4, Me, Myself, I, and also my Boyfriend :)
9. What do I most like to do, related to heartbeats?:I love to write as well as read. Most of my stories are situations that I find romantic, they usually are between the characters "I" and "Him". I want to move away from this a bit and maybe start writing a bit more like my current literary idol, emtstaroflife on HBP.
10. What is my heart rate right now?: 64bpm
So there was a little introduction to who I am, I'll probably be updating my blog pretty often, so check back often!
Lily
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