My First HB Experience (and what happened next)

The first heart-related experience I can remember was on a summer afternoon when I was about 8 years old.

I was bored and so I started looking through the drawers in the bathroom, searching for confiscated toys.
After a while, I found a little black bag in a drawer. I was curious so I opened it. Inside the bag, to my delight was a stethoscope and a blood pressure cuff. I quickly went and closed and locked the door, because I was scared that my father would see me, and took the stethoscope out of the bag.

I lifted my shirt and placed the stethoscope on my chest. I moved it a bit and suddenly I was overcome with the weirdest feeling. I was hearing the sound of my heart beating, and for some reason I didn't really understand, I loved it.

I sat there for a while enjoying the sound and then an interesting thought occurred to me. I took the stethoscope off and stood up and started running in place as quickly and quietly as I could. I put my hand over my heart and felt it beating quickly so I stopped and put the stethoscope on. When I placed the diaphragm to my chest, I was amazed, my heart was pounding loudly and was much faster than it has been.

Suddenly, I was startled by a knock on the door. My heart began to beat faster. "Lily?" My mother said, "What was all of that banging? Are you ok?"

I shoved the stethoscope into it's bag, put it into the drawer and closed it as quietly as I could. "Yes mom, I'm fine," I said.

"Could you please open the door?" My mom asked.
I unlocked the door and opened it.
"What were you doing?" She asked
"Nothing," I told her, and then walked past her out of the bathroom

After that day, when I was alone and bored, I would sneak into the bathroom and listen to my heart. I experimented with exercising and holding my breath and enjoyed hearing the effects these things had on my heart.

A few years passed, my interest stayed pretty constant but when I finally turned 13 and got a computer of my own, things got interesting. I would go online after everyone had gone to bed and use google to read about stethoscopes and the heart. After a while, I started to get a bit concerned. My little interest was beginning to make me feel weird in public. I would see some kids running and wonder about their hearts and I would be so curious about what my heart was doing at different times. Somehow, I heard the word fetish and learned it's meaning, so one night, I googled "heartbeat fetish".

Not a ton of stuff came up, but I found a website called heartbeat pleasure. It interested me, and so I created an account.

Well, after spending a few late nights online, I started to feel weird, almost dirty. I didn't like the idea of having this interest, and so for about a year, I suppressed my thoughts.

After some time has passed, my interest came back. This time, I had a debt card and so with my holiday online shopping, I bought a stethoscope.

Since then, I've gotten a lot more comfortable with my interest. I still hide it, but I've accepted it as a part of who I am, It isn't a bad thing, just different.